tropical dreams

SCORPIO.... so true it scares me! haha!

2004-11-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

Okay I had to make a post about this one. My friend Mai lent me a book called "Love on a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance" by Hazel Dixon-Cooper, who also writes for Cosmo's Bedside Astrologer and is also a member of the American Federation of Astrologers. Her book is states things so matter-of-factly and doesn't sugarcoat things at all that it's also hilarious!!! I've never been an extreme fan of astrology or horoscopes or things like that, but I do like reading them once in a while just for fun. Anyways, in my sign, SCORPIO, some of the things said were pretty true, I don't know if it's just a coincidence or what.. But I also read up on Myco's sign, Pisces, and damn, there are a lot of "coincidences" too.. Call them what you like. Basta ako I'll post what's funny and true in mine. Hahaha. I can't put everything down, it's pretty long and a lot of it is x-rated hahahaha. If you guys are interested, you should get a copy of the book. Trust me. Even my best friend Bern was freaked out with how true some of the stuff were! Here are a few excerpts that I find so (freakingly) true about myself that I read in the book..Most of them I didn't even realize until I read it:

SCORPIO:

Element: Water. Steam heat is soothing, healing, and purifying. It can also asphyxiate, scald and parboil. >>is it just a coincidence that I consider myself a water baby because I love the beach? =)

Quality: Fixed, on secrets. What you see is seldom what you get. >>true! Unless you are a good good friend of mine or someone I do like or trust, what you see isn't what you get.

Symbol: The Scorpion. Even making love is a duel to the death.

Romantic Idol: Michael Corleone. >>in this very part of the sign profile I got shudders! Michael Corleone?!? I always told myself before that I thought how great it would be to be the wife of a mafioso!! I've always been fascinated with the life of the mafia. Oh man. Hahaha!

Favorite Pickup Line: "Hi."

*A scorpion in love is erotically powerful, amazingly cunning, and totally dangerous...
*Scorpio is prepared to wait as long as it takes... (i have waited pretty long for Myco hehe)
*They don't play; they strategize. They don't flirt; they obsess....
*Be prepared to have your name and worst secrets all over town should you happen to piss off this guy or doll... (done that.. Bern and my closest friends know this hahahaha)
*A Scorpio's inner space is a ten-foot circle.. Scorpios can recoil at a surprise hug.. (which I have done a few times to people I'm suspicious of and don't exactly trust)

On Catching One:
*Emotionally, this sign ranges from 0 upward, and can unexpectedly vacillate, even with a Scorpio who is truly crazy about you...Most of us embrace the joy and forget the sorrow. Not Scorpio. When a Scorpio is too happy, they become suspicious. They wait for the circle to turn and the other shoe to drop.

On Surviving One:
*Scorpio will never leave you
*Either hate the past or yearn for it (in my case, I hate the past)

On Keeping One:
*Loving a Scorpio really isn't quite the Herculean task it's always alleged to be. It does take a special person with a special knack for understanding. It is a challenge. So is anything worth having, and the love, loyalty and commitment of a Scorpio is certainly worth having. (I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you very much. hehehe!)
*Gemini is motivated. Taurus is thrifty. Aries is passionate. Cancer is home loving. Scorpio has all of these traits, plus an inner strength that will see him or her, and you, through any crisis, commotion, or upheaval life hands you. No one is more loyal to a friend or loved one.
*Think about Fixed Water. A deep, still well can be cool and lifesaving or stagnant and poisonous. Wells accumulate everything that's tossed in, from wishing coins to murder weapons. Scorpions accumulate emotions in the same manner. And because this is a Fixed sign, the natives virtually never clean out their psyches, forget, truly forgive, or let go. (sad but true, it's so much easier for me to forgive than forget...)
*All Scorpions share a love of the unknown and an insatiable curiosity about human behavior. Books, movies, or classes on ancient religions or human behavior will appeal. (so true again! Maybe this is why Bern always tells me I'd enjoy her classes so much - she's a Psychology major)
*Ideally, Scorpio should live near water. Water renews and rejuvenates all of the water signs, but Scorpio needs to see, smell, and feel fresh, clean, flowing water on a regular basis. It helps them wash away some of the accumulation in that bottomless well of emotion. If you live in a land-bound area, try to get your lover to the nearest lake, river or ocean several times a year. (again explains my love and need for the beach!!! =)
*It takes a tough, savvy, very special person to love a Scorpio on a permanent basis. If you're up to it, you will be loved with a passion that you read about in novels - one that won't diminish with time.(I already found this very special person! =)

And get this. This is the "personal ad" that the author created for a Scorpio looking for other signs, and look what is says for the Pisces (Myco is a Pisces), its the only one that says "Match made in heaven"!!!! =) and among my best bets are Pisces. Coolness!

Anyway this is it. I'm sleepy already and it hasn't stopped raining. It's almost midnight, gotta go to bed. Sweet dreams!

whats on my mind on this rainy holiday..

2004-11-29T15:09:00.000+08:00

It's a rainy Monday and I'm here infront of my computer. This just isn't right. Rainy days should mean me and Myco snuggling and cuddling up in a blanket! Hehehe. Rainy days depress me and make me sad and lonely. Sigh. And I still have a lineup of homework to do and take care of. Anyways I have a few things on my mind that I can't help but contemplate while sitting my butt infront of the computer and smoking a cigarette that is lightening up my stomach because I just had my second serving of adobo and rice. YUM. Haha.

1. First and foremost, the beach. Yes, HOME. I need a beach trip. I need a getaway. Escape from this "educational or academic insanity" that is driving me nuts. Hahaha. I have a few pictures from the last beach trip, by the way. That long weekend from Halloween. It was fun. Met up with SPAM for a while at one of the Fuego beaches. Here's a few pictures taken from my more carefree days. Hehehe.

Me and Myco at Fuego =)

Me, Grace, Ana and Gina at Fuego.

2. On a more IMPORTANT note, are there any kind hearted and honest souls left on this planet?? God oh God I hope so. Last Friday, while walking in school, my bracelet that Myco gave me for my 20th birthday fell from my wrist.. God I want it back really bad. It had such such such sentimental value to me and it really hurts losing something with sentimental value. Please, DLSU people, I hope there are still honest ones of you left!!!

3. I haven't seen a movie in so long. SO long. What was good that I missed? I heard Incredibles was good.. It's strange for me to not have watched a movie in so long. I used to watch a movie sometimes twice a week. But I'm definitely NOT missing Ocean's Twelve. That for sure I'm not going to miss. Saw Without A Paddle on DVD though, pretty damn hilarious!!! Check it out.

4. Tomorrow, I'm sleeping over Mel's place to do our PHILORG paper. But it's her birthday too! So hopefully we finish our work real early so we can go out and have a few beers in Makati tomorrow night afterwards. Looking forward to that too!

5. I really really really need some exercise. I stopped exercising with Angie once I got busy with earrings. Watched Alabang Fuckin Ultimate's practice at the Alabang Country Club yesterday afternoon. Wish I could join Frisbee, I think I'm the only girl left who doesn't know how to play. It's great exercise but timing of practice clashes with school. Here are some pictures of Myco and the rest of Alabang Fuckin Ultimate during the Spirits International Frisbee Tournament at Manila Polo Club. For more pictures, check this page out. Pictures taken by Pat Martires. =)

The Disc Devils logo on the bag of their uniform =)

Great catch babe =) (hehehe even if he doesn't read my blog!)

WoohoO!!!!

Go Alabang Fuckin Ultimate Go!!!! =)

6. Food therapy. I've been consoling myself with so much food lately, I cannot believe my mom is making me take multivitamins because she says I "don't eat and don't sleep". For the no sleep part, well of course I have to for school. About the no eating part, thats nuts!!! Haha! I've consoled myself with: ice cream, pizza, sushi, chocolate, and lots of junk food to sustain me. Hahaha. Sigh. Now just typing those words made me crave for more food!

7. I don't feel the Christmas spirit, and that's so sad. I avoid places, shops and stores that play Christmas music. It doesn't relax me; for some reason it makes me depressed. Our tree is up, the lights are up, the decors are up, its freaking December 1 already two days from now and I just don't have Christmas in my bones... Yet...??

Sigh. I need ice cream and a nice massage.

update!!!

2004-11-27T13:20:00.001+08:00

I finally post after a whole month of being so damn busy, killing brain cells, and school killing me. Haha. Mostly for school. But it's all good. I even ended up fighting my stupid, know-it-all groupmates for my organizational video class the other day! I had steam coming out of my ears. It's stressful enough to deal with schoolwork, what more for inconsiderate know-it-alls who make the work so much more difficult!!! (Relax, D, BREATHE....) So much has happened in the past month... I haven't even gotten any sleep because of school work (it's been so hectic, I've never been so busy in my LIFE I swear) and I can't beleive I even attempted (and went through with it!) to start little businesses with some friends. But it's been such a learning experience, I wouldn't have it any other way.

And thank you, my ever-faithful Marlboro Lights and coffee, for helping me survive this term. It may have been endless nicotine-and-caffeine-induced days but what can I do, I can't stay up for days handling stress without the help of caffeine hehe!

On November 13, Jing Jong, Mike, and Ed took me along with them to Mati, Rockwell because it was the birthday celebration of Carlo Goco. His supersweet wifey Anna Banana surprised him wearing a black shirt that said, "Carlo G. rocks my world" in rhinestones. Isn't that sweet???? =) There was also a DLSU event. Bumped into Tina and Mel there =) Here are a few pictures of that night.

Tina and I at Mati...

Tina and a buzzed me in a "banyo pic" hahahaah!

Tina, me and Mel at Mati. Orgcom gurls! =)

In the past month, I also turned twenteen (Angie's term hahaha so I don't feel that old yet haha). On November 19, I turned twenteen.. I refuse to leave the teenage years. I didn't really celebrate because the coming weekend was the bazaar and I had to wake up early. I went to school, killed more brain cells, then Myco picked me up and took me out for lunch in CPK - Yumyum!!! We had pasta and pizza!!! Then had a few beers in San Mig ATC with a few friends..Went to Myco's house for my birthday treats (wink!) hahaha and then at night, still full from the carbo-overload at CPK (but hey, I won't deprive myself of that! I love pizza and pasta too much!) we went to the opening of Lanai Red, a bar behind Brothers' Burger. Had more beers, then home early and prepared for the bazaar.

Cristel, Bianx and I started a little earring business of our own. We did it for the Cuenca Bazaar Tina signed us up for November 20 and 21. But we already started selling in school before the bazaar. Gosh, I didn't know that making earrings can be so: addicting, tiring, stressful, mind-boggling and nail-and-hand breaking that I constantly needed to apply nail and hand therapy lotion. Hahaha. It was my first time to join a bazaar; it was also hectic but really fun too. And a big learning experience, business-wise. Here are some pictures from the bazaar:

Bianx with the table of goodies...

Cristel at work with earrings...

Kate and Tina brought their digicams so we took pictures while there weren't any customers...

Tina and me!

Tina, me and Kate behind the table...

We slept over that Saturday night in Bianx's house.. We all passed out. We were all puyat and tired!!! Hehehe! I lived on Sbarro pizza and coffee the whole weekend!

Here's pics from Bianx' place. Thanks for the hospitality Bianx!=)

Good morning Bianx! Hehehe! =)

Jean and Kate's fresh-outta-the-shower look...while...

This is mine! Bwaahahahah!!

Yummy pancakes for breakfast!!!

Me and Jean in the breakfast table..

On the way back to Alabang to set up for Day 2...

Here's Day 2 of the bazaar...

Tina and I behind the booth hehehe...

The earring girls.. Hahaha! Cristel, Bianx and I with the goodies =)

Cristel, Jean, Bianx, Tina and me!

Thank you Tina for the pictures =)

Well this is it for my entry. It's a long weekend once again. And another next 2 weeks filled with stress. Hahaha. I think I've turned into a stress-filled-bomb ready to explode anytime soon! Hahahaha! Good luck to me. But I do beleive all my efforts will have paid off (hopefully) by the end of this term. It's all worth it. =)

happy halloween!

2004-10-29T13:28:00.000+08:00

It's the long weekend, finally, and halloween is coming up. What's everyone up to? Sigh. I do have a (slightly long) break from school - one day off. Wow. But either ways, I'm gonna take advantage of it because next week I'm soo loaded with a shitload of school work. If I wasn't going out of town this weekend, I'd probably be staying home and trying to finish so much schoolwork!! Projects, exams, readings, reports, all due next week.. AAAHHH!!!!

Anyways, at least I'm super looking forward to this weekend. My parents actually let me stay with Myco in Tagaytay from tonight till Monday! Half of me is surprised and half isn't that they let me go. Well his parents will be there so they have nothing to worry about.. And we'll be spending Saturday and Sunday at Fuego, where my sisters and cousins will be too, so its pretty cool. I can't wait to get a tan (I hope it doesn't rain; I heard there's a storm.. Please NO NOT THIS WEEKEND!!! - but as I write this the noontime sun is brightly shining and I love it!) because I'm so damn pale it aint even funny! I haven't set foot on sand since May and thats so damn long for me. I just can't wait!

I think Myco and I are gonna have a lot of bonding time at Tagaytay too. I'm really really looking forward to that also. I love out of town trips with him; and with him, even the trip going wherever is so much fun already! So that's pretty cool.

Last year for Halloween we went to a party and I dressed up as an angel in all white (yeah yeah I know - the irony haha) and him as a devil in all black plus a mask haha! The years before that I was always at the beach during long weekends at this time of the year with my family. Come to think of it, this long weekend, same time 2 years ago in Fuego was where Myco and I met. And he got my number. And the rest was history. Hehehe.

I'm pretty excited to go back to my home this weekend. I want to snorkel, sunbathe till I get so roasted, have a beer on the hot afternoons sitting on the sand... sigh... But on Tuesday its back to the grind again! Good luck to me. I'm going to have a beach hangover for sure.

Sigh. Even as of today my blog isn't designed the way I want it to be. It will take a while. Patience, Diane, patience.... haha. I wish I could learn faster but like I said, I have so much on my hands already. So this is it for now and I hope everyone has a happy halloween!!! =)

sleep all day...

2004-10-25T04:50:00.000+08:00

It's 4:25 am as I write this post. I woke up a few minutes ago, a bit too early than I should be waking up... I slept at midnight. I'm supposed to get up at 5:30 am today for school. (It's a MONDAY. Whoopee.) And I couldn't go back to sleep, though it did feel soooo good just to cuddle under the thick comforter and hug my cold pillows. (I bet I'll be craving for that again once the clock hits 10 am today pa lang... God help me get through today!)

On Saturday night, I slept at 2 am. Woke up at 9 am, talked on the phone with Mike Def till 11 am, then went back to sleep. And I woke up at freaking 6 pm! I shocked myself. I really did. Talk about batugan!! Was I really that tired?? It's not like I was drunk on Saturday night. I was just home, watching a movie with Myco. And now, on a Monday morning, I find myself awake earlier than I should be, wanting to go back to sleep but I can't, drinking juice made of concentrated calamansi with honey (YUM), and trying my best to ignore the nicotine bitchings in my body because there isn't a single stick in this house that I can smoke. Ugh. What a way to start my Monday morning, more so my week!

I've been so busy the past few weeks! Not just with school, given the fact that I'm pretty sure this is the busiest term I'll ever have next to thesis next year; but even outside school work. Shit. I remember during sem break how I was complaining coz I was extremely bored every day. I hated being unproductive. Now, it seems so unfair that since its the sem break of some friends of mine that I barely get to see, I don't have enough time to even spend time with them because I'm too loaded with work to do. It's rewarding at the end of the day, because I know I made good use of my time, but its tiring. And sometimes I just crave to sleep all day. Which is what happened yesterday, unintentionally. Hehe.

I haven't even been to the beach since May. I have been dying to go! I'm just hoping that's where we'll end up this Halloween break. Even just for the day. Being in the beach and sleeping are my ways to escape stress. It's really really what I need right now. Schoolwork is the heaviest of all and sometimes I daydream in class how it would just be so nice to go to the beach at that moment and escape everything... Sigh.. Wow, one weekend at Fuego would do me wonders. It's funny, coz when I'm at the beach, my body clock is different. The latest I'll wake up is 10-11 am. It's like my body is telling me, "Wake up or else you'll miss the best rays for your tan!" Hahaha! And well, it works. I need the beach.. My face is starting to look like connect-the-dots again because of my pimples! Which are the product of either my stress or lack of sleep. Hassle! But when I'm at the beach, there's no pollution. Clean air. So my pimples go away. But what can I do, I study at freaking Taft man. Haha. Oh well.

Waiting for the first helper to wake up already so I can make pabili my cigarettes.... Sigh. What's for breakfast?

i love beer. 'nuff said.

2004-10-23T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm sure all drinkers like me have gone through certain too drunk experiences that makes them say, "I'm never drinking again!!". But we know its just the consequence of having a little too much to drink or making the same mistake again and again (mixing drinks)! And yet we still do drink! Haha!

Last night was so embarrassing!! We went to the birthday party in the house of Myco's friend, then I was drinking my usual - beer.

But then I always make the mistake of mixing drinks, even when experience has told me very damn well not to! Haha!

I started taking pure rhum shots (which I've never taken before.. I usually drink rhum only with iced tea or as rhum cokes... I don't really drink anything else except for beer - its my drink of choice for as long as I can remember!!) with Ulam... and imagine I was using beer as a chaser! Haha! Then it hit me before I even knew it! We all went outside the house to smoke then I started feeling super tipsy already so I sat inside Myco's car, in the driver's seat with the door still open so I could still converse with the people outside, right. Then I felt like puking. This was it. Haha. No turning back!! I started throwing up everywhere and it was so humiliating! Everyone saw it pa! Hahaha! Some friends of mine from Makati came all the way down south pa to meet up with me there and I got too messed up too soon. Haha! Nevertheless, last night was a lot of fun!

It was embarassing but it was alright, at least I was with Myco and friends. I've had worse. And as I was making kwento about it to my best friend Bern this afternoon, she said it was okay, everyone gets shit-faced once in a while. And besides, I've had worse experiences.

PROM. This one tops my list! Every girl's "can't wait for" event in high school. I was third year high school. After prom, all my friends and I, and our dates, all went to Venezia as our after-prom gimmick. Everyone was drinking but not even a lot, and I, as usual, was having beer. Then some people started taking tequila shots so I got some as well. Later on, when we were hanging out outside Venezia, I felt it na. Uh-oh.

I ended up leaving my mark in Venezia - puking right infront of the entrance, and it even got on my gown!! Infront of all my friends. Haha. That was definitely a night to remember! It was embarrassing but at least I could laugh at myself back then. I found it hilarious - and humiliating at the same time!

I've always preferred beer over the typical "chick drinks" like Cosmopolitans, Margaritas, what-have-you's. I don't even know the names of most other "chick drinks". I think ever since I took my first sip at like 6 years old from my dad's Pale Pilsen, I was hooked. I love beer. Other girls usually can't stand the taste. I don't know why, but I can drink it like its water to me. Beer is great anytime, anywhere - chilling out on the beach whether day or night; hanging out with a small group of friends at someone's place; with dinner (or breakfast or lunch pa nga!); practically any time is good time for beer. Not to mention, it makes for a great sun tan! Faster and more intense than suntan oil. Haha!

For the past weeks, Angie and I have been "lap partners". We'd swim weeknights for exercise when we can, but always seem to end up having a beer or 2 (or 3 or 4!) afterwards. Defeats the purpose of exercise! Haha! But what can I say, I love beer! I'm not an alcoholic; I don't fall into the definition of an alcohol-dependent person at all. I also love Sangrias and Gin Pomelos (the types that are fruity but hit you hard!) but I still love beer more hehe. Anyway this is it for now.

Cheers. Later!

one year and seven months

2004-10-21T13:47:00.000+08:00

One year and seven months... tomorrow.

That's how long Myco and I have been seeing each other.. It makes me think a lot about how my life was, and how I was as a person, a year and seven months ago.

Being with him for the past 19 months of my life has changed me. It's changed my perspective on life.. how I look at things, how I handle situations, how I think... Basically I think it's changed me a lot. But for the better of course.

Having him in my life has made me see things differently.. little by little, of course. (Almost) every couple goes through adjustments, unless of course they were already friends for quite some time before becoming a couple. Clearly said by a friend about being in a relationship: "You're putting 2 people together, 2 people who come from totally different backgrounds, are used to different things; 2 people who have their own lives and different attitudes and upbringings. A good relationship is being able to put all that together; all the differences, and being able to make it work." It wasn't in those exact words, but to that effect. I still don't think anyone could have said it better. I never thought of it that way. But it's true.

I've learned so much from him the past months; I've realized so much about myself... Not even just in the aspect of being a girlfriend; but also the other roles I play in life, like daughter, sister, friend, aunt and neice... Before we got together, I think I was still immature.. I've only had one boyfriend from high school before him, and it wasn't a good relationship either.. We lasted just 8 months, broke up right after graduation. It was my first relationship and it was already serious (not to mention emotionally draining). I didn't learn anything from that relationship nor did it make me a better person. So I guess I didn't know much about "love" and relationships back then. Its true, experience is the best teacher. When we got together, it was in March; 3rd term of my freshman year in college. I was still immature. Maybe still thinking like a high-schooler... Hehe. And him, being just a few years older than I (he was a few terms shy of graduating already when we got together), taught me so much about life and love...Not meaning to be a teacher, but in him just being himself, I saw a better me. I admire him for so many things that I wish I could do myself. Let me elaborate some.

I learned that sometimes you don't have to take everything too seriously. Like when we have petty arguments; I, being so emotional that it can be bad, end up crying... While he's there laughing.. or at least trying to hide his laughter... At first I was wondering what was so funny about me crying. Later on, I realized that what we're arguing about is so stupid and silly in the first place! Not to mention, when I get mad sometimes, I end up talking in Tagalog and he finds it funny, even in the middle of an argument. Being too serious and pushing the issue will just end up with the both of us being frustrated but he's able to see the lighter and funnier side of things, and now I've learned to do the same (at least I'd like to think so! Hehe). I love his sense of humor; I can't say its wrong timing because its perfect. A little laughter, a hug and a kiss, are always good enough to lighten up any situation. For me at least. I can't live a life without laughter, and I'm glad he's there to make me realize the opportunities there are to laugh when I take things a little too seriously.
I've learned (and still learning) to be more of a head-over-heart person. I think everybody is either of the two: either mind-over-matter or heart-over-matter. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, and since I can be too emotional like I said, I've experienced the disadvantages of being too "heart-over-matter". I do think though, that in some situations you have to be more of one than the other. Myco is a "head-over-heart" person. Letting my emotions control decisions have ended up for the worse, in my experience. It's brought me tears and depression.. Then the need to get wasted to forget everything! Haha. But then, the cycle will repeat itself. I feel like I know better (even though it's not always) when I choose which decisions to make now, and that there is conscious effort and awareness that I'll make better decisions if I use my head too, and not just my heart.
I've learned to be more open-minded. Even in simple ways. For example, my taste in music.. I used to be a freaking hip-hopper man! That was my main choice for music but I was also listening to some mainstream rock and alternative in high school.. But preferred hip-hop any day. I never really knew the Beatles before; I just thought of them as some famous band before just like the Beach Boys. But now, I LOVE the Beatles. I never thought I'd actually listen to them. When we got together, I knew his taste in music was much different than mine (and he hates hip-hop haha!). Those first few times he'd pick me up, and in the car, we'd listen to music I've never heard before. But now, I actually ask for him to play certain albums for me, like the OST of Almost Famous, The Doors, The Who, Foo Fighters and Red Hot (their older albums), Led Zep, Sublime, etc... And of course the Beatles!!! I even find myself wishing I had a certain CD that he has to listen to at a particular moment.. like suddenly I'd crave to listen to the Revolver album.. But I don't have the CD! Hahaha! Another thing is, being more open-minded has helped me listen to other people's advice. Not that I think I'm always right or that I don't need anyone's help; just that I usually take for granted other people's advice for me... Especially when I need it most. I used to just think MY way. But now I'm more open minded and really take into consideration the advice that other people give me, even unsolicited, because simply put, some people know better than I do in certain situations.
I've learned to deal better with the lemons that life gives me. When I'd have serious problems, especially when it came to my mom and I (she has a bit too strong of a personality so we've clashed lots of times before), other family problems or even smaller problems. Before, when I just simply didn't know what to do but felt bad about a situation, I'd throw myself a pity party. I always used to feel like the martyr. I'd constantly talk about my problems while sitting at home in my pity party, not doing anything about it. When you change from a person like this to a person who can make lemonade out of lemons, its like a wake up call. Myco would simply tell me, "Do something about it." It's like, DUH! But for some reason I was just plain stubborn. I had all the chances and time to do things to better situations but I was being stupid and preferred not to. Now I know the recipe for lemonades. It doesn't help to sit at home all day, take sleeping pills, wake up, cry and sulk... It may be a release, it may feel better temporarily, but it doesn't help. Get up, do something about it.
I've learned to appreciate the smaller, simpler things in life even more. I realized that this is important especially being in a relationship. When I was single during freshman year, I could not not go out in the weekends. I had to do something. My social calendar was filled in the weekends. Sometimes it was the same routine (I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this too): FRIDAY NIGHTS: WASABI. SATURDAY NIGHTS: GREENBELT... or wherever was good on the weekends. Parties galore. But now, I'm calmer. More relaxed. I don't have a specific agenda every weekend. Sometimes especially when I'm real busy with school, I just crave to go home, chill in my room for a few minutes, smoke a few cigarettes and listen to music. Then I already feel much better. One thing I love about our relationship, is the small aspect of just me and him riding in his car, going wherever, and listening to great music being blasted, talking about anything and everything, and holding hands. I love moments like those. Especially road trips, like when we go to Fuego. The trip itself is just so much fun! Other people would look at it as: "You're just riding a car." but its different for me.. for us. It's a small thing that means so much to me. There was also this one time Myco and I were sitting in his car from one of the points in Fuego, watching the sunset. How simple, yet its one of my favorite memories.
I've learned that when someone loves you so much, your flaws wouldn't matter. Through the months, Myco has gotten to know some things about me that other people don't. My flaws. My past. Even flaws in my life right now that I have no control over. He totally and fully accepts me for it because not once did I feel judged when I needed to open up to him about something I didn't want to talk about but had to. When I open up to him about serious shit, he doesn't back out or act like the "fair-weather friend". I always just put masks on, layers of it, for other people. I quote this from.. I don't know where I got it! Haha! It's, "When you find someone who knows your flaws and differences yet willingly embraces you with so much love, then you know you have found true love." He's always been there for me in more ways than one.

These are just some things I can elaborate. Maybe it sounds so serious. I don't care. A lot of people know that yes, we're young, we're having fun, and yes, seriously committed. And I've heard a lot of people tell me, "How can you plan marriage when you're so young?" or "How can you even talk about it? Anything can happen in the long run." But comments like those dont discourage or dishearten me about our relationship because thats us, not you. We do have serious plans for the future.. we've talked about kids, where we want to get married, how our house will look like, how many dogs and what kinds of dogs to have, etc... I'm 19. I don't blame people for thinking that way, but I know what I want. And I know what I've got. What I've got, I'm not ever going to let go. I know we still have a long time to go before we actually start a life together, get married and everything else. But its okay, there's time for everything. There will be a proper time for everything.

For now, I'm going to enjoy life. Life and love. Because both go together in my world.

I'm young.. I'm inlove... And I'm loved back in such a way I never thought possible. I can't imagine life without him now... Life a year and 7 months ago. This is what life should be for me. And this is just the beginning =)

LASARET... My weekend retreat!

2004-10-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

Hello people.

I'm finally back in civilization. Hehe. It wasn't all that bad... But to explain first to those who don't know.. LASARET stands for "La Sallian Integrating Retreat" and we were the first batch to have it. It was an overnight thingy this weekend held in the middle of the jungle. Joke! The place is called Bukal ng Tipan in Taytay, Rizal. But it was a building/dorm, set in the middle of the forest.. Seemed like it! The place (the building, sleeping area, bathroom...) was really just... I can't think of a word. The building reminded me of one of those abandoned mental institutions that are decades old.. Especially the hallways at night. There was something scary (maybe it was just me.. my imagination tends to be a little bit wild. haha) and fascinating about the place at the same time.

But when you take the steps outside, wow. I found it nice. That's an understatement of course. Wildlife, pare. Haha! There were streams; lots and lots and lots of green; little nipa huts outside to chill in, stuff like that. Now, talking about the retreat itself, that was FUN. Even though I can only remember half of it cause I was so sleepy most of the time. Haha! I was with friends that I haven't had the chance to bond with in a long time... I was the one they had to keep waking up coz I was just.. sleepy. Haha! And a bonus was, my best friend Bern and her block was there too! We were 3 blocks all put together. In fairness, they gave us a lot of free time. Me and Cristel though, were just plain having fun. 'Nuff said. Haha!

So what did we do? First was the bus trip.. We got the back seats and chilled out from the back! Food tripping, making chika, and listening to music!

Then we finally got to the place. The bus dropped us at the bottom of the hill; at the main entrance of the place (called Mary Hill). And we had to walk all the way up.I was the only one who brought a pillow of course, because I dreaded the thought of sleeping with just one pillow; dirty pa! It was a STRAGEL to bring it up coz they made us trek up a hill to get to the place, carrying all our things.. It was so tiring.. It felt like death march for me! Hah! As you can see in this picture..

From L-R, thats Kate, me, Cathy, Jean, Bianx and Cristel..hehehe! STRAGEL PARE! I of course was the one most hassled because of the darn pillow.. Okay fine, yes I did benefit from it, but not at that point and state.. Haha!

Here's another one!

Finally arrived!! We had a "picnic" too when we got there! The garden outside was nice.. It was a nice escape from Taft life!!

On Saturday night tho, we were just hanging out during our free time and talking about how this place would be so much better without the "retreat" atmostphere; just us in the place, with alcohol and a cd player... And allowed to smoke cigarettes!! Hehe. We weren't even allowed to make yosi.. At first, I told myself, "I can do it! I can do this! One weekend of no smoking. I can do it!" but noo.. I couldn't take it! Haha! I, along my other smoker friends, found a way and got away with it. Ha.

This was us Saturday night.. hanging out...

Them posing and making pa-cute! (Lang magawa eh! Bwahahah!!)

Then finally after a late-night comedy show that I missed because I fell asleep so early (I'm such a pooper!!! Wah!! I wish I didn't fall asleep!), they went to bed. Here's a picture of us in the bunk beds: (Thats Kate in the top left bunk, Jean and I in the top right, Bianx and Cristel in the lower left bunk and Cathy in the lower right =)

and another one!

I have to say, it wasn't your typical high school retreat (what I expected) wherein they really do this dramatic stuff so the students end up crying. This was so far from that! The whole time was just bumming, chilling and talking! The next day, Viv, me and Jean while waiting for breakfast... (shempre I still have sleepy eyes haha! So obvious!)

And enjoying the hot chocolate...

Then in the afternoon, we had free time. We made use of our siesta time by "exploring" the place, nature-tripping, taking more pictures and hung out in a little hut in the garden! Hehe!

The hut..

with chicks in it... hahaha.. "Hut chicks!!" --> Tina's words! Haha!

Merienda time with softdrinks pa talaga.. wish it were beer! Haha!

Here's Cristel, nature-trippin...

And (drum-roll please...) the spectacular facade of the building... (right. haha)

Now we're going home... All tired on the bus on the way back. That's me behind Cristel sleeping as usual haha!

Baboo!
Got the pics from Tina and Kate's Multiply Pages. Thanks to you guys for the pics, and the good times over the weekend! Mwah! =)

my first ever blog entry!

2004-10-01T07:28:00.000+08:00

Dear diary. Haha. How cliche. But here, officially, is my first ever blog entry (whoo-pee-doo! haha). I have always wanted to make one because first and foremost, I love to talk.. and I mean talk, talk, talk. Ask any friend of mine, family member, ask my boyfriend; practically everyone in my circle knows I'm extremely talkative. Hahaha. Why? I guess I'm just really an opinionated person. I have something to say about everything; any topic at all.

And second (and probably the last and most importantly haha), I love to write. I've kept diaries in grade school (I'm sure most of us kikay girls did!) because my best outlet of expression is not through verbal communication (how ironic; given that I just said how talkative I am -- its a fact, really... hahaha!) but through writing. And in this day and age, it's just a little too tiring to write in pen and paper what you feel and what you want to say... Except that this, unlike a diary, is public. Yes my darling friends; my opinions, my feelings, my thoughts and even my useless blabbing is laid out here for all of you to devour, even love or hate.

I've titled my blog address as paraiso y amor (it means paradise and love in Spanish) because both are topics that I constantly find myself in my college classrooms daydreaming about, and talking about... like there's no one definition or answer to both... I just find it fun to relish in thoughts and discussions of both.... What's love to you? What's paradise to you? And what is it to me? Paradise and the beach... I love the beach. It's not just second home to me; its home... And love? I love love. I love being in love with the right person (his name is Myco Loanzon =) and I love the feeling of being loved back. Platonic love or romantic love or my love for dogs and animals or my love for food... All kinds of love! Anything goes. Paraiso y amor also kinda relates to me the life in Spain (though I've never been there; maybe its just the Spanish blood in me, but that's the way I perceive Spain to be - full of paradise and love) that I also fantasize about... the beautiful beaches... the passionate people and good food... and maybe even how I feel about romantic love (everyone's got their own opinions on romantic love, right?) might also have something to do with the Spaniard in me. Hehehe. Just a theory =)

Well, this is it for now. Later!